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Christmas Night

What a beautiful day.

My delight was a walk in the woods (Pt. Defiance) with my dad. The late afternoon sunlight on the tree trunks, the choppy water of the Puget Sound, the muffled sounds of our boots on the moss...this is maybe the singular thing I miss most about the Northwest.
My 17 seconds was on romantic partnership. God I hate the way that term sounds but to me that's what it is: a partner with romance.
And my signs? If you remember, I asked for a rainbow this morning and a palm tree yesterday; both of them came to me in conversation today: the first was a conversation with my mom this morning about a movie we saw in BC for Expo '86: Rainbow Wars. The second was at Christmas dinner with our family friends when Steve was talking about getting out of town to Palm Springs for sunshine and - yes - palm trees, during the winter.
As we near the end of this month-long experiment, I am finding fear: fear that it won't come out the way I want. And I have to keep remembering to let go. It's a hard lesson, and a really good one. I don't control this. And that's okay.


Phoenix said...

Fear has no place when replaced with real, true love. Love for yourself; love for others; love for the faith and trust that you can place in the universe. Fear comes from having expectations about what we want and from putting things into a box. I can guarantee you that whatever you think you've wanted out of life, love, your body, your career... it is in a tiny box compared to what the universe has in store for you.

Let the fear go, let the expectations go... and so comes love.

I hope you had a beautiful Christmas, my dear girl. You deserve to be happy, healthy, and content, always.

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