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Wednesday Night

Well today sucked ass.
I'm sorry, but there's just no other way to put it.
I was walking home thinking about how different I felt on my walk home yesterday, and I had to chuckle - it reminded me that not much changes, really, but the way I feel about it changes constantly. And I reached deep and touched that gratitude from this morning and while it didn't change everything, it helped.

You know what else helped? My 17 seconds. I took it in the middle of the day - just closed my office door, stood up, and spoke out loud (quietly) about what I love about singing. I was in the middle of the ass sucking (not in a pleasant way) and I DID NOT want to stand up and "bliss out" for 17 seconds, but the second I did, I floated right out of my shitty office into happy. Then the crap at work continued but those 17 seconds gave me something to come back to, to remind me that I'm not my job.

And my sign? If you remember, I asked for a marble. And I went on a date tonight. And he was telling me about where he used to work, and one of the companies was "Marble" something or other.
I said, "What was that name again?"
And he repeated it: Marble something-or-other, and I burst out laughing, and he didn't really know what to do with that. And I considered explaining but thought that's maybe second (or seventh...or never) date conversation and let it lie.

I'm going to get in bed and listen to the rain now.


Phoenix said...

I love that your date brought you your marble!! Brilliant.

And we all have those sucky-ass days. Somebody once told me that when you're trying to change your life and have those days, it's just resistance, and it's a good thing. It means you're scaring the shit out of the crappy parts of the universe that want you to stay right where you are.

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