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Wednesday Night

I am finding it really hard to be here during this time at work. My energy and intention aren't as involved as they were in the beginning. I am frustrated with myself.

No bowtie, either! My dear friend Jennifer had this to say about signs not showing up:
I am absolutely in agreement that your signs that you're missing are right on par for the way this should go. Come on friend...the Universe doesn't play exactly according to our plans or am I missing something?!!?? If it did then I would have been married to Rob Lowe a long time ago. I would translate these signs as... "I hear you Marley... but I will show you what I want to show you....when I want to show it to you... thank you very much....just like I always have."

Okay...I'm down with that. My dear friend Phoenix brought up The Secret, and how ego-centered that version of this practice is (my interpretation of her words). I agree; I've always been uncomfortable with the way that movie takes the concept of the Law of Attraction and turns it into a tool whose sole purpose is to get you stuff that you want. To me, the heart of that - the intention of that energy - seems like a gross misuse of this powerful tool. Maybe the Universe is reminding me that I'm not calling all the shots?

Ugh. See? I can only talk so much about "the Universe (capital U!)" and my intention for so long without wanting to barf in my mouth. Excuse me while I light some incense and fingerpaint a picture of my soul.


My 17 seconds was on acting. My delight was sushi with my coworkers. And I have to say: something unexpected this 17 seconds is giving me is this constant finger on who I really am, outside of what I'm doing at any given second (in this case, working like the world will stop if I don't finish this project on time). For example: I was furiously compiling narration errors (don't ask) and all of a sudden I came back into my body - realized my shoulders were up at my ears, I wasn't breathing - and I remembered that I'm someone who loves writing and travel and acting and singing, and that I happen to be performing this job function right now. And I could breathe again.

We likey.


Phoenix said...

No, we LOVEY.

Your 17 seconds is such a brilliant idea. I am so excited to try it and just let myself indulge in what makes me happy. It's been so long since I've asked myself that but this is where the balance I talked about earlier comes in... we can't spend all our time trying to make ourselves happy but we also can't spend all of our time only making others happy. What blesses one should bless all.

And I can assure you, Marls, that not only is your journey of what you want to do in your life blessed, but that you yourself are a blessing to those who love you and call you a friend.

::hugs:: and keep on kicking ass.

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